Art Appreciation

(A poem written by your favorite blogger Laura, future US Poet Laureate and presidential candidate. Side note: I only have another decade and a half until I'm old enough to run for presidential office! Get ready folks, the future is coming quick!!)

"Twinkie, Oh Twinkie"

The noxious fume
From the Twinkie of Doom
Wafted into the room.

I thought of burnt tire
As I put out the fire
This was going haywire.

The Twinkie is cold now
I'll survive this loss somehow
I think I torched an eyebrow.

Research

I apologize in advance to those of you who have no interest in my research project, as I'll be posting my research progress periodically on the blog.

What I have done so far:

-I have compiled a bibliography of just under forty books, articles, websites, etc., which I am slowly working my way through. Most of the books are compilations of articles written by sign language researchers from all over the world. I have two more journal articles to read, and about a dozen books. Most of my reading takes place between the lunch and dinner rushes at work. I suspect my coworkers think I'm crazy. They all know I'm going to China, I've even told a couple of them that I am working on a research project, but no one knows the exact topic. I sometimes report my progress to a good friend of mine at work, but I'm pretty sure she still doesn't know the topic. Usually, I don't mention Chinese Sign Language to people, because they NEVER know what I'm talking about. I usually get a blank stare followed by some stupid comment like, "Isn't that universal?" Or, "So you want to sign English with Chinese people?" Or my favorite, "I have a cousin, who has a best friend, who has this uncle, who's coworker is hearing impaired. He knows sign language. See? Like this..." At this point, the person very slowly, very painfully, fingerspells something to me.

-I've sent half a dozen emails to random people found through a Google search. I spent several hours on this project about a week ago, and have only heard back from one person. However, that one person has provided me with several more contacts and a potential wealth of information. Receiving that email was a happy moment. I did the happy dance, took myself out to lunch, called my best friend, and finally forwarded the email to my professor.

-In an earlier post I mentioned finding a Chinese Sign Language dictionary. I'll be photocopying the introduction tomorrow. The rest of the dictionary is just a bunch of black and white photographs.

-I am compiling a list of authors from the books and journal articles to locate and write to. Many of the journal articles also have extensive works cited pages, which I will be using to find even more articles.

-I contacted a former professor of mine who teaches an ASL linguistics class. I came to him wanting someone in the states who knows what I'm trying to do and is available for feedback. With that goal in mind I found him at his office, explained what I was trying to do, and asked for his thoughts on how to go about researching. I didn't get much help with the research (I didn't really need it), but he did say he wanted me to keep him updated on my progress. (YES!!!!!!!!!) Maybe he was just being polite, but I'll definitely be taking him up on the offer.

-I'm still trying to nail down an exact topic of research. I feel as though I am going into this wanting to find the answer, and pose the question to fit my findings. But, as my professor told me, you must have a research question if you want to accomplish anything. While at work last night, I jotted down the following topic question: "What is the prevailing view of deafness in China, and how does it play out in deaf education?" This question is fairly broad, with lots of built-in holes. In order to answer this question, I will be focusing on the deaf identity (how deaf children and adults view themselves and their place within society), language (is the sign language natural?), and the role of sign language in education. If possible, I would like to interview educators, deaf adults, and deaf children.

-I found an article in the journal "American Annals of the Deaf" that deals specifically with deaf education in China. If I can find a link to it that does not require a password, I'll post it here.

That's all for now.

Dreams

I had a dream last night. I was in the airport waiting for the plane that would take me to China. I was waiting with my friend Sarah; we were both leaving the country on the same day. Her plane pulled up to the gate. We cried as she stood in line to be boarded. We both promised to write often. I hugged her, and she disappeared in the crowd. I watched her plane take off, and then sat back down to wait for mine.

I waited a while, watching the planes come and go until finally my mom showed up to see me off. She was supposed to bring my ticket, but she didn't have it. I kept asking her when and where I was supposed to board the plane, as I wanted to explain to the boarding crew that I had lost my ticket. She wouldn't answer me. I kept trying to remember the time of departure, but no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't seem to recall the itinerary. As I watched the time pass, I became more and more panicked.

I woke up at 2:00 am. I wasn't in the airport, I wasn't waiting for a plane. I was just trying to get some sleep.

Twinkie

I woke up this morning to find a mountain of twinkies on my alarm clock. I have no idea where they came from. I didn't waste this fortunate turn of events; I enjoyed an excellent breakfast, a scrumptious lunch, and a delicious dinner.

I had one left, so following the advice of my dear friend Sarah, I put it in the microwave. It caught on fire, so I fed it to the cat. Below is a picture of the Twinkie of Doom. Please note those three little holes that the fire was shooting out of.

Sorry, this is an advertisement...

But I just couldn't resist. You can click the image to watch the full video. If you want the full experience, go to www.cleaninghunk.com.

It's Tuesday!

I haven't blogged at all this weekend due to a heavy work and school
load. I'll try to update more regularly this week.

On to the news:

I bought my first official piece of luggage for China. (See below for picture of me modeling it)


I found a dictionary of Chinese Sign Language, put together sometime in the 1970's. I am not allowed to remove it from the library, so will be photocopying the important parts this weekend. With all the research I've been doing, I'm becoming a serious copyright violator. Luckily, I've found the most remote copy machines in the library to do the dirty deeds. These copy machines are so far from any sign of life, that I actually stumbled over this unfortunate soul who never found his way out of the copy room. I made sure to give him a proper burial in the recycle bin.

I met a new "friend" today at the bus stop. I stopped by a Thai food
restaurant on my way home and picked up a large, steaming bowl of tom kai soup. I carried it with me to the bus stop, where I sat against a cold building and ate.

I enjoy people watching. I like to park myself somewhere and see what information I can gather from the people walking by. I especially like to see if I can figure out other people's habits. When I am at school, I try to figure out what people are studying, and when they come and go. I know that the guy with long hair arrives on campus at 8:45 with a fresh cup of coffee from Starbucks. He reads from the same textbook everyday, but never gets very far because he is distracted by the blaring TV. He always leaves at exactly 9:20. I know that the cleaners on the fourth floor of the library always clean the bathrooms between 9:10 and 9:30. I know that my class T.A. secretely wishes that students would forget their appointments so that she can finish her homework. The Greek owner of a pizza place near campus speaks Chinese (although not fluently). The librarian is from Germany; a Fulbright scholar who is studying Chinese business.

Anyway, I was crouched against a building, slurping my soup and watching the crowd walk by. A man, about a foot shorter than me, and ten years older approached. As he walked past me, he hesitated and turned around. He stopped by where I was sitting, and again hesitates. He was clearly trying to strike up a conversation, but didn't know how. Finally he said, "Hi. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, and you?"

"I'm fine too." I turned my attention back to slurping my soup and hoped he would leave me in peace. He watched me for about a minute, and then began to wander away. I continued my eating, watching him out of the corner of my eye. I sat leaning against that building until the time that my bus was due to arrive. I stood up slowly and made my way over to the bus stop. I stood waiting a minute, counting cracks in the sidewalk until I heard the sound of a bus pulling up. I glanced at the number; it wasn't mine. I resumed staring at the sidewalk. Another bus pulled up, and just as I looked up, I saw my friend from earlier walking my direction. He stopped next to me. This time though, he looked like he had just finished a marathon. He was sweating profusely. Sweat was pouring down his face, soaking through his shirt, and by the way he kept wiping his hands on his pants, he had sweaty palms too. Again, "Hi. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, and you?"

"I'm fine too." Not wanting to encourage the conversation, I lapsed into silence.

"Someone stole my cell phone and they haven't given me a new one yet." At this point, he started wringing his hands.

"Oh. That's too bad."

"I think you're cute." You poor, poor man. I pity your unfortunate soul.

I laughed, "thanks."

"My name is Alex. You have a cell phone. Do you want to call me as friends?" You know, creeps and weirdos just aren't my type.

"No, not right now." This is the nicest way I know of to say buzz off.

"Why?"

You're asking me?

"Uh.." It was my turn to hesitate. I have a special line for people I meet at the bus stop. I don't use it often, as I have nothing to back it up with. It's not very creative, but it still gets the job done:

"I have a boyfriend."

It's Friday!

Friday means nothing to me. It isn't the end of early mornings (Saturday and Sunday are early for me too), it doesn't mean a night of partying, and it definitely isn't the start of a relaxing weekend. I just want a day off. One day with nothing to do: no work, no school, no people, no responsibility.

I'm normally very laid back. I don't stress out about much, and I can handle pressure fairly well. This week has found me in an unusual funk. I've been extremely anxious; worrying about things that don't need to be worried about. My biggest worry this week has not been financial, school or work related. No, it's much more ridiculous than that: I've been worried that upon return from China, I won't know anybody. My friends won't know me, I won't feel close to my family anymore, my boss won't re-hire me, and I'll be by myself. I'm worried that I'll come back and not speak the same Chinese as my classmates at home. I'm worried that I'll be jobless, insurance-less, tuition-less, and will have an incurable stomach ailment.

I just need a day off. One day off will put me back in focus.

Next week.

My day off will happen next week.

And then I'm gonna sleep.

Just need to make it until then.

A shameless charity hit-up

Please, please, please buy me one of these for Christmas.

Forget China--

Let's all take a trip to Switzerland!

Side note: That video gets better each time I watch it!

Sarah, I've found a man for you--

Don't worry, he's no Batman. But don't let that discourage you; he was awarded the "Golden Booty Award," and has the nickname "Whirly."

He also drives this hot ride.

Easter

Does anyone else see the uncanny resemblance between this-



And this?


Shall we unmask these two creatures?

Picture number one is this outstanding specimen.

Picture number two is just a specimen.

The Magician, part 3

I saw The Magician today as I was leaving class. I was walking out of the building when I saw him coming up the path in my direction. He gave me a sheepish look as he came closer. I grinned back. We ended up having a short conversation during which I apologized for not showing up on Monday. Apparently, he didn't show up either because he had too much stuff to get done. (Why, the nerve of that guy!!!) Anyway, we walked together a short ways until the path became crowded with people running between classes. When it became too hard to walk side-by-side, I saw my opportunity and snuck away.

And another chapter in the life of Laura is closed.

China: A land of wonder

It's stories like this that make me wonder whether going to China is such a good idea after all...

I like foods that start with a "j" too.

Ahh, let's see, anything exciting to post?

Nope.

Yet another busy week in Laura's world. I never did see the Magician, and I do feel kinda bad for standing him up. I also worked a lot and forgot to bring a homework assignment to class to turn in. But on the up side, I did get some research done. I'm currently working on a bibliography to turn in later this week. The bibliography must have at least twenty items that I have read or intend to read for my research project. Although I did find a large number of books on sign language and sign language structure, most of what will be on the bibliography will be journal articles. I did find one journal article on my exact topic. It was in The American Annals of the Deaf, and addressed the topic of sign language, education, and deafness in China. Though it took several hours of searching, I was able to come up with a list of articles that I wanted to print and save. Printing on my school campus is really expensive, so I went to a copy center nearby. I gave the guy at the copy center a cd which contained PDF files of all the articles I wanted to print. He put it in his computer and told me to wait.

Now let me back up a moment. The reason I chose this particular copy center was because of the six cent per page price. This is not a huge deal, but compared to on-campus printing (ten cents a page), this is a real bargain. I spent an hour waiting for the guy to figure out what he was doing, and then when I went to the cash register to pay, was informed that anything printed from their computers cost twelve cents!

(Insert heart attack here)

I ended up spending $40 for slightly less than 300 copies. That hurt.

I really need to go to bed...

I've made some progress on my research which I will be sharing later this weekend with those in blogland. I still haven't seen The Magician, but my friend did threaten to beat him up for me. I must say, I was very flattered. That's all the news for now, because really, I have only one thing of importance to post. --Well, maybe two.

The Magician, part 2

I was supposed to meet with The Magician today for coffee, but I stood him up. I was originally planning to go just to satisfy my curiosity. When I mentioned my plans to a friend, I was quickly talked out of it. After all, I was told, he could be a serial killer who makes lampshades out of the hides of beautiful women. If I happen to run into him this week, I will apologize for my rudeness. I usually go to great effort to make all of my appointments with people.

I couldn't resist.

I found this great recipe that I'm going to be making for Easter. It's called "Rabbit-Out-Of-The-Hat-Salad." And yes, it does have all those little dashes in the recipe title.

The Magician

This has been a really busy weekend. On Friday, I made a new "friend." I was sitting by myself reading a book when he approached and performed a magic trick. I said, "How do you do that?"
He flipped his cell phone open and passed it to me. "I'll tell you if you put your number here..."

Woah.

That was either very creepy or very sweet. It remains to be seen.

And now a cultural interlude...

Let us take a moment to reflect on the great diversity of cultures around us. Try to be sensitive.

Research

I wrote the following research project idea to bring to class and discuss with my fellow travelers. It's just an informal outline of possible research topics that I will be looking into. I've posted it here:

I would like to do a research project on a Chinese Sign Language. Specifically, I would like to find out more about the language itself, whether or not there is a deaf community in China, and what life is like within that community.
Ideally, I would like to spend some time learning the sign language and conducting a general survey of its linguistic features. I will be looking into whether or not the sign language is a natural language, or a sign system. If both of these are found to exist, what are the differences? How are they used? If a sign system is used, I would like to find out more about its history and application. Are there dialects of the sign language? Also, I want to know if sign language is seen as a means of teaching children to speak, or as a language in its own right. In other words, what is the goal of deaf education in China?

I would also like to find out if there are deaf communities in China. Do individuals who use sign language in China gather in community groups? Do they see themselves as a culture, or as members of the hearing community at large? Are there deaf clubs or cultural centers? What are the opportunities available to deaf children and adults in China? What is the education system like for deaf children, and what types of employment are available to them upon graduation?

In order to find out the answers to the above questions, I would like to take some videotape of people using sign language while telling stories, conversing, listing vocabulary etc... If it is possible, I would like to spend time observing at a deaf school. Gallaudet University has a large library of materials on deafness and sign languages. I’ll be searching their databases more closely for any information and research on China. I will also be reading the book “Deaf Children in China”, written by Alison Callaway in order to get a start on my research.

I am sure my list of questions about this topic will expand greatly in the near future. I will also be refining my topic as I learn more.

What is the world coming to??

And all he says is, "Wow. That smarts!"

Wikipedia's newest addition-

I went to Wikipedia to find out how to contribute an article. There is a short introduction page which outlines Wikipedia's rules. Included is a description of what Wikipedia is not. I've put the important stuff from the "What Wikipedia is Not" section here. Unfortunately, I think this counts out any article I might write about myself.

1.3 Wikipedia is not a publisher of original thought
1.4 Wikipedia is not a soapbox
1.8 Wikipedia is not a crystal ball
2.1 Wikipedia is not a battleground
2.2 Wikipedia is not an experiment in anarchy
2.3 Wikipedia is not a democracy
2.4 Wikipedia is not a bureaucracy

Even more discouraging was this:

"Wikipedia is not a soapbox, or a vehicle for propaganda and advertising. Therefore, Wikipedia articles are not:
Propaganda or advocacy of any kind. Of course, an article can report objectively about such things, as long as an attempt is made to approach a neutral point of view."

As they say, one man's propaganda is another man's...

Um...

Uh...

Hmm...

Nevermind.

On to the next rule:

"Editors should avoid contributing to articles about themselves or subjects in which they are personally involved, as it is difficult to maintain NPOV while doing so." [1] Creating overly abundant links and references to autobiographical articles, or to articles in which you have a personal stake, is similarly unacceptable."

Here's our thoughtful question of the day: Do I really have a personal stake in this blog?

But alas,

"Biography articles should only be for people with some sort of fame, achievement, or perhaps notoriety. One measure of achievement is whether someone has been featured in several external sources (on or off-line)."

This blog should count as at least one external source. When I get some time, I'll see if I can slip an article about me in under their radar. Then we'll see what they do... :)

America: A land where men with the nickname "Impaler" can run for president.

Wow. When I first read about Mr. Sharkey (see last post) a few months ago, there were only a couple of websites spouting his propaganda. When I searched for him now, I found that his propaganda pages have mysteriously disappeared, but he has an article written about him in Wikipedia. If it's so easy to publish an article about someone like him, I think I'll be writing one about myself in the near future. I'll keep you updated.

I think I want to be the president when I grow up.

If I run against him, I'll win for sure!

Side note: Please leave a comment if this sentence makes sense to you: "On March 5, 2006, it appeared that he had faked his own death several times."

Must..... post....... something............

It's been three whole days without a post. Let's catch up on the important (read: Laura) news:

-On Friday I met my fellow travelers who will be going with me to China. They all seem pretty cool. Hopefully, as we get to know each other better, we'll all get along. One guy is interested in doing a video project. I'm going to see if I can con him into doing a project with me. He needs a subject, and I need someone with videotaping skills to help me do a research project on sign language. He's very handsome. I managed to sneak a picture of him using my camera phone. Let me know what you all think.

-Thanks to some quick thinking, I have (hopefully) spared my cat from a sex change operation. The cat's so-called "blockage" led to his hospitalize earlier this week. Then, the so-called "veterinarian" told me that if the problem returns, he will need an operation to "change the little boy cat into a little girl cat." Dumb animal.

-I met with my Chinese professor for the first of what will be weekly one-on-one sessions. All the students in my class are required to put in this extra speaking practice. Our conversation follows:

Professor:盈皮艰皎讱㤃舝?

Me: Huh?

Professor: 舊觧近耝...

Me: Um....

Professor: DO YOU SPEAK CHINESE?

Okay, so it really wasn't that bad, but it was still a challenge to hold my own.

Now on to the real news:

-Women of the world, we must unite against this kind of treatment!

-This is why women hover.

-This guy looks suspiciously like my veterinarian...

-And lest you think I have forgotten, here's the latest news on him.

Feeling pissy

I've seen a couple coworkers do this. One was a chef who was pissed because a customer didn't like the food. He threw a pan across the kitchen, nearly taking out half the waitstaff. I remember a server doing this too. I don't recall why, but I have a suspicion that he was dealing with the same customer mentioned above. That particular customer made me angry too, but pan throwing isn't really my thing.

Side note: Sarah, I think that picture is of some NASCAR guy. Gordon somebody....