Do you remember James?

BOLO: James.

He's now involved children and grannies in his evil scheme!!! We cannot allow this to continue! Somebody...! Anybody! Quick!! Call the feds, he should be put on a terrorist watch list!

Side note: click the link above

I like all foods that start with the letter "p" except pearl onions.

Recently, I left one of the cooks at my work speechless. He always whistles, winks, stares, comments, and laughs at me and a few of the other girls that I work with. I said to him, "why don't you knock off the whistling and just marry me already!??"

He shut up after that.

Finally.


Side note: click the link above.

Seriously,

I once knew this guy who hit a deer with his truck. Thinking the deer dead, he did what any logical person would do; he shoved it into the pickup to take home for dinner. However, instead of shoving it into the bed of the truck, he put it in the passenger seat where it soon awoke and began thrashing around. He killed it with a 2x4. This guy reminds me of him. Seriously, how do you get "mysteriously shot"?

How come nobody told me?!?

I could've gotten a job with them!

Are you new??

I spent most of today at work. I usually work evenings, but have changed my schedule so that I am now working days as well as nights. Although I've been doing the same job for quite a while now, I'm now dealing with a different crowd of customers. I've been asked if I was new several times this week, and even had someone ask me if I had ever seen an item on the menu before. I just smiled and thought, I've seen that item only about a thousand times, but I'll still smile and hope I get a good tip. Boy, I've become so greedy...
Anyway, today was slow enough that I had time to make one of these out of someone's leftovers.

My favorite is the LED faucet light--

But if you're thinking christmas, check out the levitating alarm clock/space shuttle. I hear it makes a great gift.

Zhongwen (Chinese)

Well, I started school again today. I'm only taking Chinese, and on fridays will be meeting with the group that I am going to be studying abroad with. The purpose of the friday class is to learn how to conduct research and write a research proposal for the upcoming year. I'm pretty excited about meeting all the people that will be going with me. Hopefully, we'll all get along well.

I haven't looked at or listened to Chinese in over two weeks, and I've already forgotten a lot of material. I can't remember tones, characters, words, grammar patterns, etc... When I was in ASL classes, this was never a problem for me. I could ignore the homework, never sign in class, not have a language partner and still be at the top of the class. Chinese is a whole other beast. I'm not too discouraged though, I found this article (linked above) which sums things up nicely. Don't major in Chinese.

Remind me not to die in Pittsburgh.

I may end up in this guy's office.

Oops...

I forgot to mention this delicacy in my last post.

Foooooooooood.

I've spent the last couple of days working and mooching around with my pal Sarah. We've spent a lot of time eating (she cooks, I eat). She is a far better cook than I am, and watches me closely whenever I am in the kitchen. I'm starting to think she doesn't trust me to make anything good. My list of culinary creations is rather short; it includes french toast, toast, eggs and spaghetti. Also, if the food comes in a box with a game or trivia on the back, then chances are good that I can cook it.

Despite my shortage of culinary skills, I am a rather adventurous eater. The first food I want to talk about (and by far the strangest food I've eaten) was the dinner that Sarah made for me tonight. I'm not sure I should go into any details here, as she is sitting next to me trying to sneak a peek at what I'm writing. For my safety, I'll just stick with those experiences I've had when she wasn't around.

Chicken feet- I ate this while in China at a dim sum restaurant. I was being treated to lunch by a group of students. I didn't know the proper restaurant etiquette, so figured I would just try one of everything. I didn't know that it's considered polite for the host to push the guests into eating more and more and more and more and more. The guests are expected to be modest, and so will insist that they are full and cannot eat anymore. In this way, the guest and the host will insist back and forth until one or the other gives up. Even when your stomach is stretched beyond capacity, the host will STILL push dishes toward you in a vain attempt to get you to eat "just one more bite." And on that day, the dishes just kept being passed my direction. At first this wasn't a big deal. Anyone who has enjoyed dim sum knows each of the dishes are quite small. They are designed so that the guests can try a little of everything. But on that particular day, the lunch was never ending; my "one dish, one bite" rule was fast becoming a huge problem. After trying one bite from each of about 413.5 dishes, I was needing to take breaks to let myself digest. All through out the meal, I had been keeping my eye on the plate of chicken feet sitting at the other end of the table. I was hoping that my hosts would forget or gobble it all up before it could be passed to me. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

The first question I am usually asked about chicken feet is "what about all the bones?" When I ate the chicken feet, the bones did provide a dilemma for me. Do I spit them onto the plate, or do I spit them into the napkin? Are the leaves on that plant large enough to hide a stray chicken foot? Do the students know enough English to understand "fire!!!!"? Seeing that I had limited options, I reached out and grabbed the foot with my chopsticks. I found a spot on the far wall to stare at while I put on my best poker face and bit. The skin on chicken feet is smooth, and usually coated in a thick barbecue sauce. I once heard the texture described as similar to a baby's finger (I wouldn't know). Although chicken feet do taste good (like barbecued chicken skin), the mental images associated with them definitely put a damper on my enjoyment. I chewed, spit, gagged and swallowed.

I recently purchased a cookbook of foods gathered in the Sichuan Province, China. Sichuan is where Chengdu is located. After salivating over all the pictures in the book, I hunkered down and started reading the recipes in search of something I CAN make. Some of the items in the cookbook include:
"Pork slices with black cloud ear fungus" (Why they insist on using the word "fungus" instead of "mushroom" I'll never know.)
"Ants climbing a tree" (This recipe is really not as bad as the name implies.)
"Fire-exploded kidney flowers" (These are NOT flowers.)
"Steamed pork knuckle in ginger sauce" (Apparently this is a delicacy.)

On second thought, maybe I'll just stick with the french toast.

A bittersweet update

Sadly, the song "Purple Bamboo" is no longer on my site. I believe the original link is broken. I have found a song that is tasteful to replace it. It is on the far left at the bottom of this page. I want you all to click it and listen, so I won't tell you the name. Let's just say the band rhymes with "schmabba," and the song rhymes with "schmancing squeen."

Side note: If you click the play button on all four songs at once, you will find it creates a harmonious symphony.

Our special today is...

My next job will be at this restaurant.

Thursday

Today I went to see my dentist, "The Butcher of Burien." I see him twice a year, for a total of perhaps ten minutes, and he knows my name, my educational background, my boss' name, and whether or not I flossed last night. That last one he knows just by looking at my face as I come in the door. He greets me by name of course, and proceeds to ask me questions about my life. I answer a couple, and then switch into one-word-answer mode in order to get his curiosity claws out of me. I wanted this experience to be over with fast. After chatting with him (him chatting, me grunting replies), he stepped out of my path so I could follow the hygenist into the exam room.

I was at work the other day, when this customer (a lawyer) told me the story of his law school buddy who dropped out early to attend dental school. The lawyer's buddy now gets a new BMW every three years. According to the lawyer, he does this simply because he can.

I suspect that my dentist does the same thing, for he clearly makes a ton of money. Every exam room is outfitted with a brand-new flat screen tv. The tv is on a fully adjustable stand just behind the spotlight, making it possible for patients like me to drown out their dental pain with an episode of "Iron Chef." As soon as I got settled in, the hygenist handed me the remote, and began the cleaning. As she cleans, she lectures me on the virtues of floss, soft toothbrushes, and Fox News. I respond with positive sounding "ughs," while trying to smile and look agreeable. After all, this woman is holding a fish hook in my mouth.

ZZZZZ... SWISH... FLOOSH... --flip.

I looked out from behind the goggles. The hygenist paused and glanced at the tv.

ZZZZZ... SWISH... FLOOSH... --flip.

This time, she clamps her jaw.

ZZZZZ... SWISH... FLOOSH... --flip.

She's grinding her teeth now. I make a mental note to tell The Butcher about this. He may have some "cure."

ZZZZZ... SWISH... FLOOSH... --flip.

We're now watching Montel Williams. She takes her tool out of my mouth, and calmly places her hand upon mine. She smiles sweetly, but I can see the pleading in her eyes. I try to smile back. She resumes.

ZZZZZ... SWISH... FLOOSH... --flip.

Click.

She resumes the cleaning.

I have a short announcement....

I want to make it clear to you all that this blogger does not find potty humor funny. This blogger is an adult; and like many other adults, seeks to bring peace and harmony to the world.
In the interest of peace, I have decided to settle down and marry this decent, kind, respectable man.

Yet another update!

I have found and embedded a short video of Chengdu at the bottom of the blog. The video was released by the Propoganda Department of Chengdu and is in Chinese.

Possible titles for this post: "Pictures" or "I Can't Believe I'm Doing This"

I finally found a couple of pictures of me that didn't need to be uploaded to the internet first. They're both a few years old, but I don't think I've changed too much between now and then. I believe these photos were actually taken the same year, as you can see by the fact that I'm wearing the same pair of pants, and the similar color scheme. I must have been going through a phase that year... In fact, that may even be the same bottle of soda.

Etc...

Now I realize that most of you can’t read the date, the time, or the counter on my blog. That’s okay- it’s only there to look cool anyway.
In order to assist you all, I’ve provided this handy chart:
These are the numbers 1-10:
一 二 三 四 五 六 七 八 九 十
These are the days of the week (starting with sunday):
星期日
星期一
星期二
星期三
星期四
星期五
星期六
The character for month is this: 月. When this character has a number in front of it (i.e. 三月) this shows the number of the month. So, the month 三月 is March. (November and December are written as 十一月, and 十二月 respectively).
For the time of day:
下午 is pm.
上午 is am.

Holy Smokes!!!

I remember when you could find bubble gum cigarettes and chewing tobacco in the grocery store. Instead of packing fake cigarettes with wood chips as they do in China, we pack them with gum and powdered sugar. In the fake cigarettes, the powdered sugar could be blown out the end to look like smoke. Ahh, the good old days when all it took was some fake cigarettes to look cool...

If you shaved your chest to look like the batsignal, read on...

Please don't take my last post too seriously. When I said "hint, hint" I didn't mean for any of you to go overboard...

Attention men of the world!!!!

The path to my heart is NOT through my stomach. (hint, hint).

I think I've finally found a man...

But he's not Mr. Right.

Update!

I spent the better part of my day searching the web for some mood music to go with my new blog. You'll note the four songs I have selected at the bottom of this page. The first one is titled "Purple Bamboo." The second is called "Sing a Song to The Party." The third is "Song of the Oil Workers," and the forth is a children's song titled "Green Motherland." While I was previewing a song called "The Kindness of Mao," I got bit by the cat and my web browser suddenly quit. I took it as an obvious sign to get the cat fixed.

Later on that same webpage, I found a collection of audio files of speeches given by Mao. When I started listening to them, I found that instead of the half-dozen or so speeches they purported to have, there was really only a couple. They became "different" speeches when the patriotic background music changed.

Incidently, while I was searching for songs I came across this photo. I don't really have anything to say about it...

If you thought these were tough to follow....

Then you shouldn't click here.

The Master said, "Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue."

Hello all!
I'm Laura. I am a student about to embark on a huge adventure! Let me back up a bit--to high school.

My hometown high school only saw my face a couple of times: once when I tripped the silent alarm (yes, the cops did come and search the building), and once when I was forced by a friend to attend a graduation breakfast. I remember sitting in the cafeteria watching other people watch me and wonder why they hadn't noticed me during the past four years.

Zoom forward a few years and you'll find me in college. I'm a person with one talent: I'm good at languages. I just finished taking fours years of American Sign Language classes here in Seattle. In the last quarter of the last year, I dropped out of the ASL program, transferred schools, and took up Chinese. Now I'm a Chinese language major.

I spent the summer of 2001 in China. Most of my time was spent in Hong Kong, although I took a brief foray into Shenzhen, which is located just across the border. I also took a train from Hong Kong to Beijing where I spent several days at tourist traps buying junk souvenirs and taking photos. At the time, I knew not a single word of Chinese. Furthermore, I had no interest in learning Chinese. Chinese doesn't sound pleasing to western ears, and who really wants to take the time to learn all those damn characters?

I made it back onto US soil just before 9-11. I wanted to take classes at a local community college to get some required credits out of the way before transferring to a university. I had the vague notion of becoming a film studies or psychology major, and then going into law enforcement upon graduation.

So, I met with my advisor to discuss the required classes. I saw in the college catalogue an ASL class, so I asked my advisor about it. Previously, my only encounter with sign language had been through a friend who taught me the manual alphabet. I found it kind of interesting, but cumbersome and tedious. My advisor told me--and I quote--"That's a great class! I've had students take that ONE class and then become interpreters!"

And I thought, "Hmm, interpreting... I could make good money doing that..."

So I signed up (no pun intended), and four years later found myself still taking sign language classes with no desire to ever become an interpreter. I did learn one thing however, I was good at languages. That knowledge led me back to Chinese, which in turn leads me here.

I will be spending the next year in China taking language classes through a study abroad program with my school. As a part of the program, I am required to conduct a year long research project. I spoke with the head professor about my interest in sign languages, and to my complete surprise, he knew what I was talking about! The professor and I are trying to find out if a research project on a Chinese Sign Language is possible, and if so, how to go about conducting it.

But seriously, I started this blog to record my adventures in China and keep friends and family updated. Although I'll be gone for a year, I have absolutely no intention of letting my friendships be distanced by distance.

As for my post-graduation plans, the truth is I have none. My future is open ended; I'm free to do whatever I damn well please.