Some Serious Health Concerns to Discuss (part 2)

I made it through the winter without catching malaria, and have been living a fairly mosquito-free existence. I was having a pretty rough time with the bugs in my first few months here (read part 1 of this post here). The worst part of the problem was that I seemed to be the only one suffering. Other people would ask why I looked diseased and I could only shrug and blame it on terrors in the night. I tried everything to make the mosquitoes go away, but nothing seemed one hundred percent effective. At night I piled blankets over my head and body, placed a constantly whirring fan on the bedside table, used a mosquito plug-in, and even took vitamin B (supposedly it helps). Whether it was my ever-alert-with-the-mosquito-squisher-"Patton" attitude, or simply the onset of winter that deterred them, I'll never know. Either way, things have been great these past few months.

I've spent fruitless hours searching the stores and markets for a product suitable for killing mosquitoes. But my luck changed recently with a trip to Century Mart, a grocery store twice as nice and half as crowded as my favorite place Trust Mart. While scanning the aisles for a new plug-in, I stumbled upon a freshly stocked shelf full of Raid Mosquito Killer spray. I'd been discussing the possibility of mosquito nets with Sarah, and was trying to figure out a way to mosquito net the entire room. Now my problem was solved. I bought two more plug-ins, and a foot tall can of spray. I brought the goods home and conducted some tests. First I lied down on my bed and aimed the can at the ceiling. Did the spray reach? Not quite, but close enough. Next I sprayed a wall shot to make sure it didn't discolor the paint, and followed that by a smell test to make sure it didn't smell like something that causes cancer. Then I did the "stupid test" by spraying it over a candle to make sure the cloud of spray didn't catch fire. (Note that I sprayed it OVER and not INTO the candle, and after that was successful I read the "do not spray near flames" warning on the back.) That all happened well over a week ago, and I've been waiting for my chance to use it ever since.

Tonight I got my opportunity. I was turning on my computer to write a blog (not about this topic) when a mosquito flew into my face. I tried swatting it and missed. From prior experience I know that if I sit quietly and wait, the beast will land somewhere soon. It did. I aimed. I sprayed. I killed. I felt good.

I'm still adhering to my regimen of vitamin B, fans, blankets, and most importantly, waiting at night for them to land and then using my "Patton" DVD to kill them. However, I've been trying to eat a lot of garlic at dinner and that seems to be working too. Now with the addition of the mosquito killer spray-The Exterminator-I'm thinking about retiring "Patton" and shipping him off for a new life in Egypt with my best friend Sarah so she can use him to kill flies. The work of a great patriot is never done...