Hi, my name is Laura. I'll be your server today.

I spent all evening at work waiting tables. Business was slow, giving me ample time to create mischief. As I was taking an order, I looked up and saw two customers seat themselves in my section. I finished scribbling the order in my notepad, sent it to the kitchen, and headed off in the direction of my new table. Approaching, I noticed that the two customers were wearing the same outfit. They were in fact, identical twins. I said hello, and went through my customer service formalities, rambling about the evening's special and the soup du jour. Finally I asked if they were ready to order. They were, and one of the twins ordered identical meals for the two of them. They ordered the same drink, the same extra side, the same salad dressing.

Now, let me clarify things here: these are two grown men who are in their mid to late 30's, and they're wearing the same outfit??? They order the EXACT same meal??? They want the same drink??? I thought people grew out of this sort of thing when they turned twelve...

But, like I said, business was a little slow and I was feeling the need to make things interesting. I decided to play a game, a test of sorts to see which twin was the evil one. First, I made sure to give them had an uneven number of dinner rolls. I theorized that if one twin took the extra roll, he must surely be the evil one. I took the rolls out to the table, and about a minute later came by to see the results of my experiment. Not wanting to hover, I discreetly walked by, offering to fill their water glasses. I glanced at the bread basket: empty. I looked down at their bread plates: empty. Then I looked at their salad plates. On each plate sat an uneaten dinner roll, and a neatly cut half of a roll. Damn. I needed to try something else.

After they had finished their salads, I brought out the main course. With it, I brought three extra lemon wedges. Again, I came by about a minute later to see the results of my experiment. On the edge of each plate sat a lemon wedge, and a neatly cut half of a lemon wedge. I couldn't believe it! My hypothesis was sorely in need of revision.

The twins finished eating (each leaving the same size portion on the plate), and I brought the check. I was half expecting them to request a split check, but they didn't. I wished them a good evening, and they left to pay at the cash register. I watched them walk out the door, and then came to collect my tip off the table. They left me $1.00.

$1.00...???

$1.00...!!!

I wasn't too far off with my hypothesis that there must be an evil twin. It turns out there were two evil twins. My coworker laughed, she said they must have each left fifty cents.