I’ve been thinking a lot about Hawaii lately. It sounds kind of silly because I’ve never actually been there, but I’ve been saying to friends since I was a kid that I was going to live there when I grow up. I think I’d make a great citizen of Hawaii; I grew up on an island, I’m a fan of Hawaii 5-0, I’m eager to learn Pidgin and I want to become a surfer. I have a fondness for shave ice, and enjoy hot weather, swimming pools and beaches. My dream career (besides cold noodle stand operator) is surfer by morning, shave ice vendor by day. I’ve even looked up graduate programs at several schools in Hawaii. They’re not very highly rated, but for an excuse to live in Hawaii, does it matter?
I’m going home in ten hours. I’ve been trying not to count the time all day. Finals week was tough as usual, I’ve developed a new appreciation for the American university system and grading on a curve. Each class has an exam, and each exam requires a good long cram session. I’m taking seven language classes and three culture classes. I’ve written four fairly good sized papers in the last two weeks and started an online science class. Everyone I’ve met here wants to take me out for a farewell dinner and give me small gifts to cram into my overstuffed suitcase. I’d love to have dinner with everyone, but the fact of the matter is that I just don’t have the time. The most important dates I had crammed all into two days. Yesterday I went to lunch with a student and a couple of hours later went to an SU hosted banquet. Today I ate breakfast with one friend, lunch with another and dinner with yet another. Despite this there are still a number of people I would have liked to see before I left. Even if we aren’t best friends, saying goodbye gives me a sense of closure for this year.
I’m happy and I’m sad to be leaving. I’m really excited to get started with my life in Seattle again. Living in China feels like I’ve been living in some sort of alternate universe where everything back home remains exactly the same. It’s hard to believe that my house has been remodeled, my sister had a baby, and my friends have made all new plans for the upcoming year. I’m excited to start school again, although I’m worried that credit transferring, language assessments or something else will not turn out as I like and end up requiring more time from me. I’m also excited to start working again, but am dreading the application, interview and first day of where ever I end up.
I started videotaping China this past week. I suddenly felt a bit of regret that I had not taken any footage of day-to-day China, and wanted to make up for it. I also regret that the journal I tried to keep barely passes page twenty. There’s just so much you can write about and so little time to do it! How do I explain the oddities of China life or the aspects of living in China that grate on my nerves? How do I explain just how delicious and fun it is to try new foods, or just how strange some of our travel adventures have been? What about culture? We talk about cultural differences all the time here, weird things we run into or situations we can’t get out of. We can talk endlessly about China while in China, how am I supposed to share all my thoughts on paper? That was fun, this is weird, I really hate it when they do that, it’s delicious!
Having an entire year to think about future plans has left me feeling up in the air. Perhaps if the time were short I would just make a decision and be done with it. Do I want to stay in China? Yes. No. Do I want to come back? Yes. Do I want to go into business, government, language or none of the above? Yes. No. And then, what about sign language?
I have ideas like moving to Hawaii and opening a shave ice stand. When it comes down to the reality of my idea, I can see myself doing it but not for a long way off. Real life things like money and grades and resumes and jobs and experiences and contacts tend to get in the way or alternate the course. But then, just maybe, I’ll graduate and meet someone who is willing to teach me the secrets of the shave ice business and surfing. Who knows? The possibilities are endless.
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